Loss of a Loved One

I was overwhelmed by sadness and could not hold back my tears.  My eyes were bright red and somewhat swollen from crying continuously. My body trembled as I hugged my father very tightly. I could not grasp the idea that my grandfather had passed away.

            I was eight years old.  My parents, my little brother, my grandfather, and I lived in a very small home. It was painted a light shade of pink and was located in a small neighborhood. My parents at the time worked a lot and did not spend much time at home. Therefore, my grandpa cared for my brother and I.  I was very close to my grandpa since we spent a lot of time together. My grandpa was about average height, dark complexion, and had hazel eyes. He had a bit of a belly and a habit of smoking. Every time I would hug him I could smell the scent of cigarette within his clothes. He would always were a hat when he went out because he did not feel comfortable showing his bald head.  He was very funny and always made me laugh with his silly jokes. He always seemed to be in a good mood with a smile on his face. My grandfather was incredibly patient, so he rarely was mad. He took me and picked me up from school every day because he feared I would get lost walking by myself.  Our home was small so I spent most of my time outside running and playing. My grandfather took me out to play whenever he had the opportunity to do so. Every night he would tuck me in at night and would tell me stories about his childhood, until eventually I would fall asleep.

One day my grandfather decided to fly out to Mexico with one of my aunts for vacation.  Everything seemed to be going perfectly fine on his trip until one day my parents received a mysterious phone call from my aunt in Mexico. My father answered the phone. He looked very serious like I had never seen him before. His face turned a pale white color as he struggled to hold the phone steady in his hands. He finally hanged up the phone and turned to my mom with intense sadness in his eyes. As he begins to speak to her, my mother bursts into tears. Even though I didn’t know what was happening, I knew something was wrong by the expressions in their faces.  I became worried and I asked what was wrong, they simply stood quiet. When I asked again, they said there was nothing to worry about and that everything was fine but I didn’t believe them.  A few days later my mother and brother flew to Mexico; I stayed behind with my father. That same night my dad was acting a little out of the ordinary. When he looked at me it seemed as if he wanted to tell me something, but he just wasn’t able to. He finally ended the silence and he said, “I have something very important to tell u mija, I just don’t know how to”.

“What’s wrong?” I said. My heart pumped at a very fast pace as I braced myself for a bad news.

 “Your grandfather died. I want you to be strong” he replied.

“No, that can’t be!” I cried.

At that moment my world fell apart, I was devastated. I could not believe what he was saying.  Immediately after this, I began to cry and I reached out to hug my father very tightly. He continued on talking and he told me my grandpa had suffered from a stroke and he unfortunately had not made it. He said that after he suffered from a stroke, half of his body was paralyzed and after that, everything took a toll for the worst. He also told me that this was the reason why my mother had left to Mexico. He said they didn’t tell me sooner because they knew I would be very upset. They were afraid I was only going to feel worse since they would not allow me to go to Mexico due to school. To make matters worse, my father told me that most of my relatives had flown to Mexico for my grandfather’s funeral.

            I was overwhelmed by a mix of anger and sadness. Such emotions dwelled within me because I wasn’t able see my grandfather for one last time or attend his funeral. He left this world before I even had an opportunity to tell him how much he meant to me and how much I loved him. It seemed unbelievable that my mother didn’t take me with her to say good bye to my grandpa. During this time, I was a little too young to fully grasp the idea that I would never get to see him again. This was all very new to me since it was the very first time I came across death. It was very hard for me to understand why this had happened and why my grandfather was gone.  Every night I cried myself to sleep, thinking about the moments I shared with my grandpa. There was not a day that I wouldn’t miss him. With time, my sadness slowly faded away and my pain grew easier to manage. I finally was ready to continue on with my life.

            After my grandfather’s death I learned that loss is an emotion that can really break down even the strongest individual. Loss can bring about sadness, disappointment, and even pain.  It is an inevitable sensation that each person must undergo at a least at one point in their life.  Loss can come into someone’s life in many ways, but the feeling remains the same.  In my case, it came about as a result of my grandpa’s death. The death of a loved one can truly change you forever. My grandfather’s unexpected death made me a stronger person. I learned not to give up hope regardless of how complicated a situation might seem. Most importantly, his death taught me the meaning of life and death. It made me realize that we don’t live forever and that while we are blessed with life we need to cherish everyday as if it was our last.